*ABOUT THE KHAIRMODE BIOGRAPHY*
II:15-16
When he completed his studies in London, Ambedkar left for
his home country. Since he did not have much money for
travel expenses, he sent a letter to Chatrapati Shri Rajaram
Maharaj asking him to send money. Maharaj sent the money.
Even though this money was deposited, it was not enough to
cover the cost of the ship from London to Bombay, so he had
to find a low-cost travel route. He found that the cheapest
route was from Liverpool to Colombo, Colombo to Madras, and
Madras to Bombay. The owner of a Colombo-bound cargo ship
arranged the ticket. The room that he got on the ship was
surrounded by animals like pigs, ducks, etc., and his
companions were uncultured travelers and boat-workers of
various countries and religions: Negro, Christian, Chinese,
Indian [Hindi], Arabic, etc. Drinking and dancing,
singing and playing games, laughter and enjoyment were the
daily activities of these travelers. Reading books and
finalizing the outline and form of his future life and
social work, thinking about related things, were Ambedkar's
daily activities on the ship. In the ship, the heat made him
suffer tremendously. Yet he did not spend a single
penny for a cold drink.
When he got off the boat at Colombo he had to exit the port
to get all the information about the way to Madras. The
other passengers had left the port in a rickshaw. When a
rickshaw came and stopped in front of Ambedkar, he refused
to sit in it. That rickshaw was pulled by an Indian [Hindi]
man who would run along and pull it like an animal. To ride
in it was inhumane; that was the reason for Ambedkar’s
refusal. Also, he knew that untouchables do the work of
pulling rickshaws.
II:16-17
Young and old people from the chawl started
coming to meet Ambedkar. Ambedkar took the occasion to
inquire about their well-being. The news that 'Our
Ambedkar Sahib has come from a foreign land!' spread in
all four directions. People started coming to meet him in
crowds. Two chairs and a bench were provided for visitors.
Ambedkar was wearing a well-pressed foreign shirt, a white lungi tied around his
waist, and black slippers on his feet. Balaram Ambedkar
and Shankarrao Dhutre (Shankarmama) stood in front to
welcome the visitors…. That is when
Balaram introduced me [Khairmode] to Dr. Ambedkar....
Balaram brought Yashwant, dressed up in boots and a
necktie, before his father. I [Khairmode] thought that
Ambedkar would hold his only child close, give him a tight
hug, and appreciate him. Yashwant came and stood in front
of his father, sweating profusely. Then Balaram said, 'Oh
Yashwant, do namaskar to
your father!' But Yashwant stood still, trembling. The
father said to him, 'What is this, Yashwant! Are you all
right?' Yashwant just shook his head. His father touched
Yashwant's chin, kissed him a couple of times
and told him to go. Yashwant left.
II:67-68
After Ambedkar went to London, the money he had left with
Ramabai ran out in a few days. His brother Shankarrao Dhutre
and younger sister Gaurabai both worked as laborers.
Shankarrao would get 8-10 annas every day. From that, Ramabai
would buy the ingredients for dinner and prepare it and serve
it to everyone. Ramabai would make four bhakris at night. One for
Mukunda, another for Yashwant, a third for Shankarrao and a
fourth for Gaurabai, Lakshmibai and Ramabai. The three of them
[=the women] took more rice. Sometimes there would be
kordyas [a rather
plain masala], sometimes not. Mostly they
would have to make do with chutney or onions.
II:72
He inquired about what I [Khairmode] had read. Then I told him
embarrassedly about Marathi poetry, novels and plays. Then he
said, 'Read books by English authors like Thackeray, Dickens,
Charles Lamb, and so on. Dostoevsky is the best novelist. Read
him too.' Then he
told me the story of
Dostoevsky's novel 'Crime and Punishment.' His talking and my
nodding my head-- this delayed Ambedkar's bath, but he paid no
heed to it.
II:80-81
With a little money in hand, Ambedkar decided to bring his
library in London (to Bombay). He kept
this library of seven or eight hundred books with his friend
'F'. This was his friend who worked in the House of Commons
office. While studying in London in 1920-30, she and Ambedkar
got to know each other at the Museum Library in London. She
first came to know Ambedkar as an Indian [Hindi]
student who said no to everything else and studied with great
perseverance. After that, she gradually became acquainted with
his life and future plans.... She was always ready to select
and copy excerpts from various books and reports in the
library for Ambedkar.... She wanted to marry him and join his
Dalit cause, but Ambedkar refused. However, that loving soul
did not let her love for Ambedkar wane. He sent her some money
to send his library over. Adding her own money, she sent all
of Ambedkar's books to Bombay.
Seeing that these books would not fit into his small office on
the ground floor of Damodar Hall, Ambedkar took a corner room
in the building behind the hall. There, a man prepared and
arranged fifteen tall wooden stands and placed books on them
according to their subject. Ambedkar had an extraordinary
hobby of changing the positions of his seating arrangement,
writing table, and book stands every couple of months. This
hobby was also seen in this room from time to time. He himself
used to help move heavy items like book stands, tables,
cupboards, etc.
As a result of this labor, his face and palms would turn red.
The way babies’ fingers are beautiful and endearing…Ambedkar's fingers were just
like that. Due to overwork, those fingers looked like
wilted flowers. He would take great care about his hair. After
nicely setting his hair flat, while he sat chatting with
someone he would run his right hand over his hair. At
such a time, while moving his hand through his hair, his
gestures would make me think that Ambedkar was being
coquettish.. But while doing physical labor, or in a state of
sadness, he would leave his hair loose and untouched. His hair
was long and curly. It used to dance freely with the wind when
it was left loose and free. Even in such a state, Ambedkar's
face looked charming.
II:88
He would get annoyed if the people sitting around him made a
ruckus while his writing was going on. But he would not say
anything to anyone. In such a case, if he was sitting with
slippers on, he would pull the heel of his right foot out of
the slipper and then put it back inside. This fidgeting of his
would go on consistently until the writing was finished.
If he felt like making fun of one of the people sitting
around him, he would not hold back the mockery and harassment.
Seeing that the other was wounded, Ambedkar would press his
thumb on his left nostril and look at the mocked man's
harassed state in a grave but undecipherable way, and laugh.
Seeing that the mocked man was extremely frustrated, he would
turn and look left and right and by doing these gestures keep
provoking him further.
If for some reason he got angry at someone, the harshness of
his voice and the rage on his face would feel terrifying. When
he got angry, he would fold the edges of his mouth in such a
way, and lash out with such potent words, that the other would
fall flat on the ground. When talking to someone, if
he started speaking affectionately, everyone would notice the
softness and compassion in his voice.
When speaking at a meeting, he would go on about the plight of his community. The listener would
want to continue listening to the beautiful sound
of his voice. In meetings, at the beginning of his speech, he
would put his hands in the pockets of his coat. His left hand
was a little shorter than his right; this secret only his tailor and a
few close comrades knew. He would take
his hands out of his pockets during the flow of
his speech, but he would not make many hand
gestures.
II:105-106
Ambedkar and Ramabai would do a strict fast on every full moon
day. In the evening, at the time for lighting a lamp in
front of the gods in the house, Ambedkar and Ramabai followed the
prayer tradition that had come down in [his father] the Subedar’s family. They would
break their fast after the prayers.
People used to celebrate Krishnashtami
every year in their cement chawl. This festival...was
celebrated on a large scale because of Ambedkar's
encouragement. When people started singing bhajans, their tabla player had not come.
Ambedkar took the tabla and added color to the bhajan. People
were amazed that such a great scholar who had studied abroad
could be so engrossed in playing the tabla! Due to mundane and
business difficulties, when
Ambedkar would become melancholy, he used to go to the
cemetery where the body of the Subedar was cremated and
his final rites were performed, and he would have an
inner conversation with his father. Sometimes he would
take Ramabai with him as well.
II:107
For some time, Ambedkar did not have time to pay attention to
the education of Yashwant and Mukund. He bought two chairs, a
table, and a large lamp to help them study. From time to time
he would himself help them study, but he was not able to
explain things in a loving and kind way. He would get
angry, and forcefully insist on things. The boys would get
frightened and become flustered.
When the boys went out wearing ironed clothes, Ambedkar would
say, 'Hey, I never got a good shirt and coat as a student,
when I went to college I got Malvani slippers-- and you
casually wear your boots and suits to a Marathi school! Wear
them! But make a name for yourselves by learning. My father
was a Subedar. See how much a Subedar's son has learned. You
are the children of a barrister. I will see how much you
learn!'
The boys started learning English in the high school (Lovji
Castle) of the Gokhale Education
Society. From time to time, Ambedkar would inquire about
their studies; and if he got into the mood, he would sit down
to teach them himself. But his method of teaching was always
the same: shouting angrily and smashing books. Yashwant could
not bear the burden of studying, due to his illness. He passed
English with a second-class grade, but his marks were barely
anything. When Ambedkar realized this, he literally hit
Yashwant with his shoe.
While Ramabai, Lakshmibai and Yashwant were weeping profusely, Ambedkar
went off to his office muttering in protest, 'I don't
want this household of yours', and he did not return
home for two to three weeks. Ramabai would send a box of
food and Ambedkar would return it, this was going on for
many days. 'I treat my wife and children in a bad
manner', he would say remorsefully from time to time.
But his seeming detachment would not last long. A few
days after this incident, Ambedkar’s anger subsided. He
began to think of sending the boys to a good school so
that they would progress well.
II:108
As usual, Ambedkar went to a second-hand book store. There he
saw a five-part book called 'Laws of England'.... He took the
first
part of that book with him and went home for dinner. He sat
reading. Ramabai served dinner and sat down in front of him.
'Start eating', she told her husband five or six times. He
said, irritated, 'What is this nagging! I have bought five
such books for five hundred rupees! Let me finish this page.
Then I will eat.' Then Ramabai said, 'The husband should pay
attention to his wife, children, and household matters-- is
this written on that page? Tell me that much, and then
eat!'.... Ambedkar came home the next night with five or six
bundles of vegetables in his hand, with 100-125 sticks of bombila!.... Both
of them (Ramabai and Lakshmibai) burst out laughing.
II:111-112
One Sunday afternoon in April 1926, I went to Ambedkar's
office. Then I saw that Ambedkar was indulging in singing a
song called 'God, when will you get me married, only you
know.' If Ambedkar was very happy, then he would hum or
loudly sing this song....
Since 'Sharada Natak' is an old and unique play about
social reform, Ambedkar had liked it since his childhood and
he would sing its verses sometimes. He had not realized
that God did not give him a 'sweet neck' [=a good singing
voice]-- because he used to sing those verses in his serious
and cloud-like echoing voice. When I entered his office, he
stopped singing.
II:115-116,
118
[Another son, Rajaratna, was born.] They decided to hire
a temporary nurse to take good care of the child. But no Hindu
nurse was willing to work in a cement chawl and for a Mahar family. They got a
Christian nurse. She used to see Ramabai and Rajaratna twice a
week and give them proper medicine and tonics. When Ambedkar
came back from the court, he would change his clothes in the
office and go home, and then sit playing with the boy, or
carry him on his shoulders and chat with the people in the
chawl.
His way of playing with the child was also very different.
Other people would call their children words like Dada, Raja,
Babu etc. while playing. He would tell the child 'You are a
lion cub, you are a descendant of a warrior, you are the royal son
of the emperor, you must do great deeds', and so on. He
would get so engrossed by the play that he shouted loudly and
his voice echoed throughout the chawl. Everyone started
thinking that Ambedkar was finally enjoying his family-life.
The sky could not have contained Ramabai's happiness.
By the time Rajaratna was one and a half or two years old,
Ramabai had tied several black strings and talismans around
his shoulder and neck. For her mental satisfaction, Ambedkar
let Ramabai do this. Despite all of this, Rajaratna contracted
double pneumonia in July 1926. Ambedkar, Ramabai, Lakshmibai
and Shankarrao used to stay up all night and take care of him.
On July 18, he began to feel better. On July 19, Ambedkar went
to the High Court. Rajaratna's illness worsened at 11:00 AM. Shankarrao
ran to the High Court to call Ambedkar home. Ambedkar
came at half past four. Rajaratna was gone at four
o'clock. Ambedkar broke down....
After 1925, his financial
situation continued to improve day by day. Therefore, in terms
of expenses, he and his family did not have to live through
constant constraint as they did before. But the husband and
wife did not think that their life together was happy. Both of
them were hurting inside. After Rajaratna's death, Ramabai
became obsessed with her desire for another pregnancy. Her
entire life had been spent fighting hardships, strife,
troubles, and sorrows. She had had six pregnancies. Because of
these conditions, her body was nearly broken down. The doctor
was of the opinion that if she had another pregnancy, she
would get tuberculosis. That is why the couple's grief knew no
bounds. Ramabai kept sinking mentally, and because of
that illness she was bedridden for months on end. Yashwant's
arthritis troubled him for three or four months in a row.
Ambedkar gradually distanced himself from the family.
II:269
Of all his sisters, Ambedkar was especially fond of Tulsa.
Since childhood, Tulsa had borne the brunt of many things for
Ambedkar. Till she passed her B.A. exam, he frequently lived
at her place. Tulsa’s husband, Dharmaji Katekar, used to work
as a gate-keeper at a railway workshop. He had a room in the
workshop's chawl with thin metal walls, in front of the David
mill. Ambedkar would stay there for many days, study there,
and go to high school and college from there. In 1917, when he
returned to Bombay from London, to take him home, Tulsa, Ramabai, and
Dharmaji Katekar, these three figures, had been waiting for Ambedkar’s ship outside the junction of Ballard Pier, since
the morning…. But because there was a wall in between, they did not see Ambedkar, and
Ambedkar did not see them. Ambedkar thought, 'Who is going to come here to
meet me from home?' Just as Ambedkar, bag in hand, stepped out of the junction,
Tulsa shouted, ‘Bhiva!’ She went running to hug Bhiva, and began to cry. Ramabai was standing next
to them and crying. Dharmaji Katekar took the bag in his hand.
After the flood of happy and sad tears had passed, Ambedkar, wiping his eyes with a
handkerchief, asked how everyone was.