S. R. Faruqi:

The opening-verse is commonplace by Mir's standards, but this whole ghazal must have been very popular in Mir's day, because Qa'im has written a 'reply' to it:

qaa))im yih fai.z-e .su;hbat-e saudaa hai varnah mai;N
:tar;hii ;Gazal se miir kii aataa thaa bar kahii;N

[Qa'im, this is the benefit of the companionship of Sauda; otherwise
did I ever surpass/overcome Mir's 'patterned' ghazal?]

( bar aanaa = to overcome). This also shows that even in his youth, Mir had already become known as such a powerful poet that Qa'im would be compelled to write a 'reply' to his ghazal that seemed to be a sort of challenge.

In Mir's opening-verse, the refrain has been used with great excellence in the first line; and in the second line, the rhyme too has been versified well. Thus Qa'im was not able to versify this rhyme with so much clearness/smoothness:

((aalam me;N hai;N asiir mu;habbat ke har kahii;N
lekin sitam kisuu pah nahii;N is qadar kahii;N

[in the world there are prisoners of love everywhere
but nowhere tyranny upon anyone to this extent]

FWP:

SETS == KAHAN
MOTIFS
NAMES
TERMS == PATTERN; REPLY

When Qa'im speaks of a 'patterned' [;tar;hii] ghazal, he means one in the same 'pattern' (meter, rhyme, refrain) that he himself is using for his own verse. That's how his verse can be recognized as a 'reply' to that particular ghazal of Mir's.

The refrain of kahii;N (see the definition above) gives this ghazal a slight twist at the end of each verse, because of the colloquial expressiveness of this versatile, unpredictable, sometimes even emotionally effective word. After all, it's made from kahaa;N plus hii , and kahaa;N is almost as versatile as kyaa .

Note for script fans: In the first line to could be read as tuu . Since the syllable is short, to me to just seems more appropriate in that metrical setting. But I don't see how one could tell, and in this case it really doesn't seem to make much difference. Similarly, sun could be an intimate imperative, or a case of kar deletion; here too, it hardly matters.