S. R. Faruqi:

See

{185,4},

in which this theme has been even more excellently expressed. Based on the present verse and {185,4}, Mirza Jan Tapish has a verse:

chhiiltaa hai kabhii za;xmo;N ko kabhii daa;Go;N ko
tere naa-kaam ko rahne lage ab kaam bahut

[sometimes he peels wounds, sometimes scars
for your useless/'work-less' one, there's now begun to be much work]

Mir's accomplishment is that in the present verse he used the word mash;Gale . In the word kaam there's usually the suggestion of some purposeful activity or occupation. The word mash;Galah seems more appropriate when there wouldn't be any special purpose in the activity, but it would be a kind of idle or unmotivated pursuit.

An excellent verse of Ahmad Mushtaq's is:

ab sha;Gl hai yihii dil-e ii;zaa-pasand kaa
jo za;xm bhar gayaa hai nishaa;N us kaa dekhnaa

[now only/emphatically this is the occupation/pastime of the trouble-loving heart
the wound that has healed-- to look at its scar]

Another point is that although in {185,4} too there's absolutely no self-pity-- or rather, there's a kind of sarcasm toward himself-- in the present verse (and in Tapish's verse too), the kind of activities that are mentioned are the bearers of an intense, greater-than-necessary dramatic tension. That is, they are [in English] 'over-dramatized'. In the present verse, the words he has selected to express the occupations/pastimes in separation are absolutely conventional. In this way, between them and the mash;Galah he has created a fine affinity.

[See also {80,7}.]

FWP:

SETS
MOTIFS
NAMES
TERMS == DRAMATICNESS

Note for meter fans: Even though bahut is definitely short-long, bahutere has to be scanned as long-long-short instead of short-short-long-short. But this scansion does reflect its colloquial pronunciation.