The theme of the present verse he has changed just a bit, and composed it like this in the second divan itself [{929,3}]:
phuulaa phalaa nah ab tak hargiz dara;xt-e ;xvaahish
barso;N hu))e kih duu;N huu;N ;xuun-e dil us shajar ko
[up till now it absolutely never flowered or fruited, the tree of desire
for years I've given the blood of the heart to that tree]
In {929,3} there's also the excellence that if some trees and plants (for example, grape-vines) are watered from time to time with the blood of a goat, then they flourish more abundantly.
But in the present verse there are a number of points that distinguish it among all the verses with this theme. Consider the following points:
(1) The home of the tree of desire was in the eye; that is, however much restlessness was in the heart, even more restlessness than that was in the eye.
(2) Or else the heart too had turned to water, so that the home of the tree of desire was in the water-- that is, in the heart.
(3) Coral is of a red color; in this is an allusion to the redness of the eyes, the redness of tears, and the redness of the heart's blood.
(4) Although coral is alive, and grows until it takes on the form of whole hills, its basic form is similar to a tree. That is, there are branch-like things, and the ends of the branches are similar to flowers.
(5) Coral exists not only in water, but rather in the salt water of the sea. Thus between the saltiness of tears and the saltiness of the sea, a 'connection' has been established.
(6) Coral is red; in this regard the mention of a red tree's turning green is interesting.
The rhyme-word of shajar , Jur'at too has versified very well:
na;xl-e mizhgaa;N ko namii ashk kii pahu;Nchii be-;Dhab
gal ke ik roz karegaa yih shajar paanii me;N
[to the date-palm of the eyelashes, the moisture of tears arrived violently/uncontrollably
in a single day
it will make this tree melt into the water]
For the eyelashes to flow away with continuous weeping is a good theme, and having become a metaphor it is visible, because it's common for a tree that has its roots constantly in water to melt away and fall.
Atish has directly taken Mir's theme:
mi;sl-e gul yaar ko ;xandaa;N nah kiyaa girye ne
tu;xm-e ummiid nah sar-sabz hu))aa baaraa;N me;N
[weeping did not make the beloved smile like a rose
the seed of hope did not become green/verdant in the rain]
But in Atish's verse the phrase mi;sl-e gul is entirely padding, and his verse lacks the kind of points, with depth upon depth, that Mir's verse has.
