samjhaa hu))aa huu;N ((ishq me;N nuq.saa;N ko faa((idah
jitnaa kih naa-umiid-tar ummiid-vaar-tar
1) I have considered, in passion, harm to be a benefit
2) as much as [I am] more hopeless, [I am] more hopeful/expectant
umiid : 'Hope, expectation; trust, dependence'. (Platts p.83)
ummiid-vaar : 'Hoping, hopeful, expecting, expectant; — s.m. An expectant, applicant, candidate, petitioner, supplicant, suitor; dependent; probationer'. (Platts p.83)
tar : 'An affix, the termination of the comparative degree in Persian (and in Sanskrit)'. (Platts p.315)
SETS == OPPOSITES
For more on Ghalib's unpublished verses, see the discussion in {4,8x}. See also the overview index.
The first line delights me: it's a very explicit-seeming, matter-of-fact statement of what I call the ghazal world's basic paradox of 'pain as pleasure'; for discussion, and examples, see {17,7}.
The second line then provides an illustration: literally, the more hopeless, the more hopeful/expectant'. The more 'harm' the lover incurs, and the more his situation is desperate or even hopeless-- the more 'benefit' he finds, and the more he becomes hopeful or even 'expectant'. But of what? Of kindness from the beloved, who will finally notice and appreciate his devotion? Of admiration from other lovers, who will recognize him as a champion? Of death, with its liberation from this doomed and unsatisfactory world? Of the higher stages yet to come, in the Sufistic journey that will continue after death? As so often, we're left to choose for ourselves.
Note for grammar fans: Of course samjhaa hu))aa huu;N actually means 'I am in a state of having considered', but in the context of the first line, that's too clunky even for me.
Note for meter fans: The variant spellings umiid and ummiid (that is, without or with a tashdiid ) are so equivalent that Ghalib doesn't hesitate to use them both in the same line.
Gyan Chand:
The quality/splendor of passion is in harm, trouble, wounds, and despair. To the extent that the lover will be in a worn-out condition, to exactly that extent he will be accepted as a successful and esteemed lover. And in this way from the beloved's side too the possibilities of his being valued will be greater. In the halting-place of passion, as much as I am hopeless, by just that much I will be considered a successful lover. Thus hopelessness have made me hopeful/expectant and successful.
== Gyan Chand, p. 207