ai i.ztiraab-e sar-kash yak sijdah-vaar tamkii;N
mai;N bhii huu;N sham((a-e kushtah gar daa;G ;xuu;N-bahaa hai
1) oh arrogant/'head-rearing' restlessness-- a single prostration-filled dignity!
2) even/also I am an extinguished/'killed' candle, if a wound is the blood-price
sar-kash : 'Rearing the head, refractory, rebellious, mutinous, disobedient, contumacious; obstinate; proud, arrogant, insolent, licentious; — revolted, disloyal'. (Platts p.649)
vaar : 'Having, possessing, endowed with, full of'. (Platts p.1173)
tamkiin : 'Gravity, dignity, majesty, grandeur, greatness, authority, power'. (Platts p.337)
;xuu;N-bahaa : 'The price of blood, blood-money, a fine for blood-shedding'. (Platts p.497)
My restlessness is arrogant/'head-rearing' like a candle. It's necessary that my dignity should for once be apparent in the form of a prostration, as happens with an extinguished candle. Its glory/honor is that it burns up and becomes ash, but during its whole life it never lowers its head. Finally, having gone out, when only its scar/wound remains on the carpet, then its dignity becomes prostration-filled. Just this is what I want. I too am an extinguished/'killed' candle, and the price of my murder is only the wound that I bear. The phrase gar daa;G ;xuu;N-bahaa hai has no special benefit or necessity to the meaning of the verse.
For more on Ghalib's unpublished verses, see the discussion in {4,8x}. See also the overview index.
On the concept of 'blood-price', see {21,9}.
The first line is addressed to a personified 'head-rearing' restlessness, and what the speaker says to this entity is 'A single prostration-filled dignity!'. The wordplay of 'head-rearing' versus 'prostration', and of the instability of 'restlessness' versus the simplicity of 'single', is enjoyably apparent-- but the meaning is not. Since there's no verb, the speaker could be recommending this, or calling attention to this, or ruefully regretting the lack of this, or neutrally noting a contrast with this.
The first half of the second line is clear, and makes perfect sense in the light of the first line. But the second half of the second line is truly problematical. Zamin simply ignores it, while Gyan Chand notes the difficulty: 'The phrase gar daa;G ;xuu;N-bahaa hai has no special benefit or necessity to the meaning of the verse'. I have to agree with him. The 'blood-price' is paid by a murderer, and the verse gives us only a murder victim, the 'killed' candle. And why should the blood-price consist of a 'wound'? Answers to these questions could be worked into the structure of a verse, but in this case they haven't been.
Zamin:
Addressing the restlessness of the heart, he says, 'If repose is obtained only through there being a wound, then I too, like an extinguished candle, am entirely a wound-- for a little while, let me too obtain peace and dignity!' In prostration there's peace; thus in contrast to the wordplay of 'prostration-filled dignity' and the 'candle' he has called the restlessness 'arrogant', because a candle-flame is restless, and also arrogant/'head-rearing'.
== Zamin, pp. 407-408