hai;N merii musht-e ;xaak se us ko kuduurate;N
paa))ii jagah bhii dil me;N to ho kar ;Gubaar ;haif
1) toward my handful of dust, she has vexations/'dirtinesses'
2) even/also if I found a place in her heart-- then it was after having become affliction/'dust', alas!
kuduurat : Muddiness, turbidness; impurity (in water, &c.); foulness; scum; dust; —(met.) perturbation, depression of spirits; affliction, anguish; vexation; discord; resentment, malice'. (Platts p.821)
;Gubaar : 'Dust; clouds of dust; a dust-storm; vapour, fog, mist, mistiness; impurity, foulness; (met.) vexation, soreness, ill-feeling, rancour, spite; affliction, grief; perplexity'. (Platts p.769)
;haif : 'Iniquity, injustice, oppression; a pity; --intj. Ah! alas! what a pity!' (Platts p.483)
That is, even if I found a place in her heart, then I found it after having become affliction/impurity/'dust'.
I died and turned to dust, but she always continued to feel vexation toward me. She never gave me a place in her heart. Even if upon my death she gave me a place, then it was with the aspect of rancour/'dust' in her heart. That is, when the thought of me comes to mind, then it comes with complaint and grievance.
For background see S. R. Faruqi's choices. This verse is NOT one of his choices; because Ghalib selected it for , I have added it myself. For more on Ghalib's unpublished verses, see the discussion in {4,8x}.
Compare the similar kuduurat and ;Gubaar imagery of {76,3x}. The present verse is almost equally simple and limited. This verse belongs to the 'dead lover speaks' set; for others, see {57,1}.
This is another verse, like {76,5x}, that Ghalib chose for ; and as with that verse, with this one too it's hard to see why.
Asi:
She feels great vexations toward my handful of dust. I grieve over my fate, that even if I found a place in her heart, then it was after having become affliction/impurity/'dust'.
== Asi, p. 143