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adab : Discipline, training; deportment; good breeding; good manners, politeness, courtesy, urbanity; etiquette; polite literature'. (Platts p.31)
FWP:
SETS
MOTIFS == 'DEAD LOVER SPEAKS'
NAMES
TERMS == THEMESRF points to the enjoyable idiomatic wordplay about the dust 'sitting' when it settles.
The use of adab creates in the verse a distinct sense of pride. The speaker is pluming himself not just on his respect in a general way, but on his elaborately, provocatively, exquisitely sustained show of courtesy. Only passion, not just good breeding, can sustain such discipline beyond the grave. Might he not be hoping, even now, that it would have some effect? And yet, a display that consists of keeping away, holding aloof, not putting oneself forward-- can such a display have much chance of even being noticed (much less appreciated)?
Note for meter fans: Metrically speaking, there doesn't have to be an izafat after ;Gubaar ; a reading without the izafat would turn the 'Mir' into a simple (and possibly self-directed?) vocative. There would be a small gain in generality (the observation would then be that of a bystander, and could apply to any dead lover's dust-cloud), but the price would be a big loss in vividness-- we would no longer recognize the particular dust-cloud of as that of 'Mir' himself, and would thus lose the touching, naive-seeming air of personal pride.